Post by Isabella Mae White on Nov 4, 2008 19:02:38 GMT -5
♥Your Love Is The Barrel of A Gun ♥
Change is wonderful, perfect. I love change. I mean who doesn't love change when it's forced completely on you. I thought with bitter sarcasm. Ok, so maybe I was being a bit harsh. I hadn't even given change a chance, but if you knew everything that happened well, I think you too wouldn't like this new change that has fallen on me. So, I think I'm going to tell you why I'm standing out in front of a large barn in Maryland, about 3000 miles or so away from my home in Carlisle, England.
♥There's A Look In Your Eye, and It's Screaming Goodbye♥
"Miss White, your parents request to see you down in the sitting room." one of my parent's servants said. Yes, I said my parent's servants, not our servant, I don't believe in having people wait hand and foot on people. Sure my parents pay them good money, but my morals were too high for that. Cringing, I descended down the stairs, knowing that this might be one of their 'we know you're unhappy, so we bought you some more pointless stuff that you don't need' talks. After my friend Alex died, my parents decided it would be best to move to England, you know, leaving the past behind. Well they got into that pish posh state of mind, and things just went downhill from there. They wanted for me to become proper. Stop listening to my rock, stop playing the guitar, start wearing more proper clothing. There was no way that was going to happen. The only thing they didn't try to take away from me was horses. No, that was something they still encouraged for me to pursue with. Jumping over the last four or five steps I grudgingly walked over to my parents. "What?" I asked. "Darling, we know you're unhappy..." my mother started, causing me to roll my eyes, "So we're sending you back to the United States. To Maryland, they have a very exceptional riding school there that we would be pleased if you attended." My eyes widened. Now this, this was most definitely unexpected. Maryland? That wasn't too awfully far from Tennessee. Maybe if I played my cards right I could hop on a plane so I could see Alex. "Honey, now I'm sorry, but the chances are you're going to have to use one of their school horses. We've contacted the head instructor and things are sorted out. You're leaving at 6 in the morning tomorrow. Have fun, darling." Shock riveted through me. I wouldn't get to see Helena everyday. They had already taken Molly from me, but Helena? This isn't right. No, it's not right. Tears began to break through the barrier I had set up. No! There has to be some way you can send Helena along too! I screamed, running out into the rain to the barn. Clothes soaked and eyes puffy I opened up Helena's stall door. Hey baby girl I whispered, rubbing her velvet muzzle, Wanna go for a gallop? I smiled, tears still running down my cheeks. I didn't need a bridle or saddle with her, she and I, well we clicked. Come on then I said, smiling through my tears. She walked out of her stall and stopped, waiting. Grabbing a small chunk of her thick mane I swung up onto her back in a less than graceful manner. Let's go, beautiful I whispered, squeezing gently with my legs. Abruptly she took off. Guiding her with my legs we made our way out of the maze of a barn. Lightning flashed and thunder cracked, but the only thing on my mind was how Helena and I were moving as one object. I forgot all about how I was leaving the next day, I forgot everything that troubled my weary mind. Time just flew, just like she and I. The storm cleared, and I saw that night was soon to be here. Let’s go home I said, gently touching her side and turning her around, heading back the direction we came. Slowing down to a trot we navigated back to her stall. Stopping, I jumped off of her. I let her go into her stall following her with her grooming box. After I finished grooming her I went ahead and fed all of the horses. After checking the horses’ water levels I kissed Helena on her muzzle before locking up and walking back into the house to pack for my new life in Maryland. Tears began to fall once again. Breaking my heart into a million pieces, I packed my scrapbooks of how my life had been before Alex’s death. Silently that night, I cried myself to sleep. Waking up at 4:45 in the morning I performed my normal morning routine, using the bathroom, taking a shower, drying and straightening my hair, applying makeup, and just basically getting ready. This morning I wasn’t my normal bouncy morning person self. No, I dragged my feet with everything I did. Fingering the necklace that Alex had given me I looked into the mirror, staring at the stranger in front of me. Sure she looked like me in her All Time Low shirt, Forever The Sickest Kids hoodie, jeans, and converse, but the girl who stood there staring back at me, she just couldn’t be me. Her grey eyes were filled with pain and despair, the eyes of someone who had come to know too much misfortune. Her eyes searched mine, as I hers. There was a knock on my door, breaking me from my trance, Miss, it’s time for you to leave for the airport came the voice of one of the servants. Tears tried to escape from my eyes, but I reprimanded myself harshly. Keeping my jello-like wall up, I forced it to harden into cement. Trying to force my exterior to look confident I walked down the stairs, out into the Taxi my parents had called for me; all without a second glance. On the way to the airport I listened to my iPod, blocking out everything once again. Grabbing all of my baggage, metaphorically and physically, I walked into the terminal. That, my friends, is exactly how I ended up here.
♥I said I'd never forget your face♥
Walking into the barn I looked at the piece of paper my parents had given me. Written in my mothers elegant scrawl was Aisle Four, Stall Number Seven. Slowly I started walking down the aisles, trying to find Aisle Four. I looked at each horse for a moment when I passed them, taking in their build and eyes. You can always tell a lot by a horse’s eyes, like with Helena, her eyes showed her wild side. They sparkled with her mischief. Tears threatened to fall once again as I thought about all of the horses back in England. I soon found Aisle four, but was at the end of the numbers, forcing the suspense of finding out what my new mount looked like, along with it’s personality. As I neared stall number nine, I began counting backwards from one hundred, keeping my tears at bay. 100…99…98…97… I droned on, but stopped when I looked in stall number nine. Tears brinked, and began to fall. Either A my parents had tricked me, or B they had given me a Friesian just like Helena. I looked at the stall; on the front was a piece of paper. On this piece of paper was the shipping report along with a manila folder. Opening up the folder and reading the contents inside my tears poured. My mother had sent Helena to help me settle in. Maybe, just maybe, the ice that had recently formed on their hearts was thawing once again. I practically threw the door open and flung myself onto her neck. I thought I would never get to see you again! I exclaimed kissing her velvet muzzle. I looked in the manila folder once again to find a note from my mother. In her elegant scrawl she had written: Bella, you know your father and I love you very much, and if you don’t, we’re sorry. We’ve only tried to do what was, and is, best for you. We’ve sent you Helena to help you settle in. We want you to be happy, and not too angry with us. We were sending Helena as a surprise for your early birthday gift. Love, Mom and Dad. Smiling, I wept tears of joy. I rubbed Helena’s nose, and grabbed her water bucket. I gave her some water, and smiled. I would have to borrow someone’s grooming supplies until I could go to the store to get some for it here in Millington. Hopefully, just hopefully, there were some people that I could get along with. Taking out the comb I always carried in my purse, I began to comb through her long, thick mane. Jet lag hadn’t even begun to set in yet, which was always a good thing. French Braiding her mane, I waited to see if there were any other souls coming out into the barn to look after the horses. It’s time for me to make myself more known.
Change is wonderful, perfect. I love change. I mean who doesn't love change when it's forced completely on you. I thought with bitter sarcasm. Ok, so maybe I was being a bit harsh. I hadn't even given change a chance, but if you knew everything that happened well, I think you too wouldn't like this new change that has fallen on me. So, I think I'm going to tell you why I'm standing out in front of a large barn in Maryland, about 3000 miles or so away from my home in Carlisle, England.
♥There's A Look In Your Eye, and It's Screaming Goodbye♥
"Miss White, your parents request to see you down in the sitting room." one of my parent's servants said. Yes, I said my parent's servants, not our servant, I don't believe in having people wait hand and foot on people. Sure my parents pay them good money, but my morals were too high for that. Cringing, I descended down the stairs, knowing that this might be one of their 'we know you're unhappy, so we bought you some more pointless stuff that you don't need' talks. After my friend Alex died, my parents decided it would be best to move to England, you know, leaving the past behind. Well they got into that pish posh state of mind, and things just went downhill from there. They wanted for me to become proper. Stop listening to my rock, stop playing the guitar, start wearing more proper clothing. There was no way that was going to happen. The only thing they didn't try to take away from me was horses. No, that was something they still encouraged for me to pursue with. Jumping over the last four or five steps I grudgingly walked over to my parents. "What?" I asked. "Darling, we know you're unhappy..." my mother started, causing me to roll my eyes, "So we're sending you back to the United States. To Maryland, they have a very exceptional riding school there that we would be pleased if you attended." My eyes widened. Now this, this was most definitely unexpected. Maryland? That wasn't too awfully far from Tennessee. Maybe if I played my cards right I could hop on a plane so I could see Alex. "Honey, now I'm sorry, but the chances are you're going to have to use one of their school horses. We've contacted the head instructor and things are sorted out. You're leaving at 6 in the morning tomorrow. Have fun, darling." Shock riveted through me. I wouldn't get to see Helena everyday. They had already taken Molly from me, but Helena? This isn't right. No, it's not right. Tears began to break through the barrier I had set up. No! There has to be some way you can send Helena along too! I screamed, running out into the rain to the barn. Clothes soaked and eyes puffy I opened up Helena's stall door. Hey baby girl I whispered, rubbing her velvet muzzle, Wanna go for a gallop? I smiled, tears still running down my cheeks. I didn't need a bridle or saddle with her, she and I, well we clicked. Come on then I said, smiling through my tears. She walked out of her stall and stopped, waiting. Grabbing a small chunk of her thick mane I swung up onto her back in a less than graceful manner. Let's go, beautiful I whispered, squeezing gently with my legs. Abruptly she took off. Guiding her with my legs we made our way out of the maze of a barn. Lightning flashed and thunder cracked, but the only thing on my mind was how Helena and I were moving as one object. I forgot all about how I was leaving the next day, I forgot everything that troubled my weary mind. Time just flew, just like she and I. The storm cleared, and I saw that night was soon to be here. Let’s go home I said, gently touching her side and turning her around, heading back the direction we came. Slowing down to a trot we navigated back to her stall. Stopping, I jumped off of her. I let her go into her stall following her with her grooming box. After I finished grooming her I went ahead and fed all of the horses. After checking the horses’ water levels I kissed Helena on her muzzle before locking up and walking back into the house to pack for my new life in Maryland. Tears began to fall once again. Breaking my heart into a million pieces, I packed my scrapbooks of how my life had been before Alex’s death. Silently that night, I cried myself to sleep. Waking up at 4:45 in the morning I performed my normal morning routine, using the bathroom, taking a shower, drying and straightening my hair, applying makeup, and just basically getting ready. This morning I wasn’t my normal bouncy morning person self. No, I dragged my feet with everything I did. Fingering the necklace that Alex had given me I looked into the mirror, staring at the stranger in front of me. Sure she looked like me in her All Time Low shirt, Forever The Sickest Kids hoodie, jeans, and converse, but the girl who stood there staring back at me, she just couldn’t be me. Her grey eyes were filled with pain and despair, the eyes of someone who had come to know too much misfortune. Her eyes searched mine, as I hers. There was a knock on my door, breaking me from my trance, Miss, it’s time for you to leave for the airport came the voice of one of the servants. Tears tried to escape from my eyes, but I reprimanded myself harshly. Keeping my jello-like wall up, I forced it to harden into cement. Trying to force my exterior to look confident I walked down the stairs, out into the Taxi my parents had called for me; all without a second glance. On the way to the airport I listened to my iPod, blocking out everything once again. Grabbing all of my baggage, metaphorically and physically, I walked into the terminal. That, my friends, is exactly how I ended up here.
♥I said I'd never forget your face♥
Walking into the barn I looked at the piece of paper my parents had given me. Written in my mothers elegant scrawl was Aisle Four, Stall Number Seven. Slowly I started walking down the aisles, trying to find Aisle Four. I looked at each horse for a moment when I passed them, taking in their build and eyes. You can always tell a lot by a horse’s eyes, like with Helena, her eyes showed her wild side. They sparkled with her mischief. Tears threatened to fall once again as I thought about all of the horses back in England. I soon found Aisle four, but was at the end of the numbers, forcing the suspense of finding out what my new mount looked like, along with it’s personality. As I neared stall number nine, I began counting backwards from one hundred, keeping my tears at bay. 100…99…98…97… I droned on, but stopped when I looked in stall number nine. Tears brinked, and began to fall. Either A my parents had tricked me, or B they had given me a Friesian just like Helena. I looked at the stall; on the front was a piece of paper. On this piece of paper was the shipping report along with a manila folder. Opening up the folder and reading the contents inside my tears poured. My mother had sent Helena to help me settle in. Maybe, just maybe, the ice that had recently formed on their hearts was thawing once again. I practically threw the door open and flung myself onto her neck. I thought I would never get to see you again! I exclaimed kissing her velvet muzzle. I looked in the manila folder once again to find a note from my mother. In her elegant scrawl she had written: Bella, you know your father and I love you very much, and if you don’t, we’re sorry. We’ve only tried to do what was, and is, best for you. We’ve sent you Helena to help you settle in. We want you to be happy, and not too angry with us. We were sending Helena as a surprise for your early birthday gift. Love, Mom and Dad. Smiling, I wept tears of joy. I rubbed Helena’s nose, and grabbed her water bucket. I gave her some water, and smiled. I would have to borrow someone’s grooming supplies until I could go to the store to get some for it here in Millington. Hopefully, just hopefully, there were some people that I could get along with. Taking out the comb I always carried in my purse, I began to comb through her long, thick mane. Jet lag hadn’t even begun to set in yet, which was always a good thing. French Braiding her mane, I waited to see if there were any other souls coming out into the barn to look after the horses. It’s time for me to make myself more known.